Never's too strong.

Then ...

So is it worth this time?

Am I done in your mind?

Will I regret once you're gone?

Why did I ever think that we would be good?

I really thought it would be different this time.

Ang lakas ng loob ko hindi kita bitawan kasi pinapaniwala mo talaga ako na worth it tayo. Sobrang naniwala ako don, babes. Nung ayaw kitang bitawan? Hindi kita hinahabol non. Ang lakas ng loob kong hindi ka bitawan kasi alam kong worth it tayo at hinihintay ko lang na maalala mo na ikaw yung nagsabi non. I was fighting like hell for the both of us. Sinabihan na ako na bumitaw na. Inisip ko rin yun, kasi nakakapagod lumaban para sa dalawa. Dati madali lang eh, kasi pareho nating kinaya. Pero wala eh, mahina ka pala. Sayang lang talaga, babes. Sobrang sayang.

Sana mapasaya ka niya ng lubusan. Sana lang talaga.


-


Now ...

I'm missing you to death but it's all for the best, I know.

Hey, hey, we're not far from home.

I've got my pride and I'll let you sleep tonight.

I miss you. I know I shouldn't but since when do I act rationally when it comes to you?

I hate the fact that I'm not talking to you ... that I can't be normal around you anymore. I know it sound so melodramatic (so unlike me) but I can't help but wonder on how I lived my life before what happened. Kasi nung satin, parang biglang nakumpleto lahat-lahat. Hindi ko nga alam na may kulang eh. Tas nasanay na ako dun sa completeness na yon, tas nung nawala ... damang-dama ko na may kulang.

Don't get me wrong, I get the fact that it's not me anymore. Gets ko na. Tanggap ko na. Okay na ako na hindi ako. Although there are times when waves of memories would suddenly hit me and then I'd dwell on the fact na sayang but mostly, I can actually look back and just smile sadly at what happened.

Hindi ko alam kung galit ka or naiinis or naiilang sakin. So ang magagawa ko na lang, 'di na lang kita iisipin. Which is hard work, really. You're like my air, constantly around me but invisible. Yeah, corny. 8-

I tried and still am trying to gain some sort of normalcy around you but I just can't. I do not know how we can act like nothing ever happened ('cause a lot did). I don't know how to act as if it's all okay.

So the big question mark is: Do I still love you? After everything that's happened, it's unfortunate that my answer's still yes ... to a degree. I don't know if you are still the person I fell in love with. Well, obviously you're not. You're now the person that she might love. Whatever.

At syempre, mawawala ba ang linya na: I deserve someone better? Syempre, hindi diba. I do deserve someone better. Someone who'll fight with me until the end. I know, ang corny. Maybe you were once that person ... but then ... you changed.

And yes, I know I'm the one who said that no one should ever regret anything. But as of now, I'm wishing to whatever higher power there is that nothing ever happened 'cause this awkwardness? Is it all worth it, really?

Erase, erase.

It was fun while it lasted, anyway. Thank you. Thank you for making me happy even for just a little while. Parati namang ganun diba? Small doses of love keeps me alive. I hope that I do not sound bitter. I really am thankful for whatever you've done to me. You've made me happy ... happier than how I thought I would be with you. I'll try and be happy without you. Thank you, babes. Goodnight.

Now were left with broken hearts and a handful of memories

And who I am now reflects you somehow 'cause you're so a part of me.

It's not like were over is it?

It's not like we'll never be together.

I hate it, the way that you say never.